I love and hate life! I hate being so confused by life that it doesn't matter. All I've been told is do what makes you happy. But to do what I believe will make me happy, will tear my soul to peices. I'm not sure I can do that. I'm not sure how much I can handle. I love life when I'm as happy as I've been these last few days. I can't even begin to tell you. Thats the confusing thing. Would I be as happy if I decided not to tear apart my soul? I think not.
Follow your heart is another comment I've gotten. My heart that is constantly confused by my mind. I think logically sometimes and now I'm cursing that logic. Its frustrating how many times do I need to be confused by the logic or nonlogic of my head. My heart that otherwise is also torn apart and trashed is absolutly glowing or has been when I stop thinking about what I'm doing and what this happiness means.
Its awful when I realize I wouldn't only be hurting myself but also one I love.
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