College

I've spent a year in college and haven't touched this blog. I wonder maybe its time for me to forget it and move on or maybe I should just delete it. This life I've moved into adjusted to and figured out is sadly a lot like my old life. I thought if I could get out of the house away from what I used to be and start over things would be great. Sadly and fortunatly my family won't let go. Now every time I see them its oh thanks for coming beth. I want to scream at them I'm not Beth! its Bethany! or Rae. Rae the side of me that no one but myself yet sees. Rae the one who cries when I allow myself to be weak. Rae the strong one who kills the punching bag and allows me to fight back. But why are we always fighting ourselves? Why can we not be truly happy with the one thing we should know best of all which is ourself. The sad thing is no one ever sees themself clearly. I mean I am right now being a whiny depressed teenager and I can't stop allowing this weakness and fault to carry on while I am expressing my self to you. You being the no one that ever looks at this website. sigh life keeps moving and for me being nothing but normal.